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I am still seeing Stars*
Aug 8, 2008

The other night, I was reminded of that life changing moment when Trav said, "Yes!" No, I didn't propose to him (he proposed to me--it was AWESOME!) When he said, "Yes!" that I could buy my first real camera and I could pursue my dreams of photography. I couldn't hold back the tears. I didn't even want to fight them. In that moment, I knew that he really believed in me. There have been so many days since then when I could hardly muster up enough belief in myself to be myself but he has always encouraged me. That was Sept. 11th 2004. I rushed out that day and bought the camera, and when I say rushed I mean rushed... I wanted to buy it before Travis changed his mind.

I couldn't wait to get started. I was overwhelmed by all of the controls, I realized how much I had to learn, and I was terrified but I WANTED it. Did I ever WANT it. I wanted to be a photographer more than anything else. Within the first 10 exposures I took this picture and I was hooked. Something chemically changed in my brain when I looked at the LCD and I saw something that I liked. I was hooked. I wanted to be a photographer more than anything, I really wanted it.

Since then I have spent hours and hours and hours and days reading manuals, magazines, websites, blogs. Anything that I could get my hands on to learn about photography. I would go to the college bookstores after the students sold there books back and I would snatch them up. I was on a budget and I was hungry for more information. I was so driven to learn... :) I still am. It is pretty normal for me to spend the late night hours (once Kai goes to sleep) scouring the internet, trying to learn more from my photography heros. Just trying to get better.

Last wednesday I went and saw Jasmine Star and David Jay speak for the Free to Succeed Tour and they knocked my socks off and reminded me of why I got started and how much of a priviledge it is to be doing this as a career. If you get a chance to see them speak, count yourself fortunate. In my opinion they are better than 15 workshops put together, they are like lightning in a box. I am still feeling their electricity a week later.

I love what I do, I am passionate about what I do, and what I do is more than a hobby-- it IS my lifestyle and I am priviledged to say that. I am so gr8phul to be able to do something that I love SO much!

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This is straight out of the camera, it is simple and yet it summarizes how I felt--like I was about to bloom. I want to live that feeling everyday! As a woman, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a collegue and a friend. I want to live in the reality that God isn't done working on my yet. I am SO not perfect, that I am fragile yet strong and I am just about to bloom.

Any day now :)
 



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